I’ve been thinking about starting this blog for a while now-there have been so many things I’ve wanted to write about, but I’ve been too scared. Taking the first step in doing anything at all is always frightening, but once that’s done, the next steps seem so much easier- and that’s exactly what I’m feeling right now. So many things have happened in the last few weeks that I’ve wanted to express opinions on, and now I’m just going to dive right into the latest incident (?) that’s made me question the kind of society we live in.
I woke up yesterday thanks to some really loud screaming on TV. Mom was watching the news, and anchors were yelling themselves hoarse on the verdict in Salman Khan’s hit and run case. He was found guilty and sentenced to five years in prison. I don’t know anything on the law and I can’t comment on whether the quantum of punishment was justified. I heard a lot of arguments on the news about how sentences in the Alistair Pereira case and the Sanjeev Nanda case were much lighter, given the fact that they had killed a larger number of people, and Salman had “only” killed one. I understand that “the law is reason free from passion” (no, I’m not an avid follower of Aristotle, I know the quote thanks to Legally Blonde), but this kind of utilitarian approach to human life did manage to shock me.
I obviously don’t know Salman personally, and I’m sure he is a lovely person who has done a lot for charity, but he did kill a man and has been duly punished. Of course I saw a lot of status updates expressing solidarity with “Bhai” (also I have a major problem with this infantilizing of grown men like Salman Khan and Sanjay Dutt by calling them names like “Bhai” and “Baba”, as if it in any way absolves them of the crimes they have committed) , but I do understand it can be traumatic to see someone you love and idolize go to prison. But once again, not only did he kill a man, he also fled the scene, denied all charges, and last month, tried to get his driver to take the fall.
Now, the point I wanted to come to- we as a society tend to idolize sports persons and film stars, and so on to a point where we are blind to their flaws completely. Salman Khan has been breaking all kinds of laws for a while now, and PLEASE can we not forget that he serially abuses women-Somy Ali and Aishwarya Rai being two cases in point. I’ve read somewhere that Aishwarya Rai’s parents had to file a police complaint because Salman had been stalking her. Of course, he also abused her regularly. I hope you aren’t thinking, “Why didn’t they just leave”, because that discussion is going to require another post altogether. Let’s ask instead, why do we love and look up to this man who obviously has some serious anger issues? Why has Bollywood been rallying around him knowing he physically and emotionally abused one of “their own”?
Worldwide, men who regularly abuse women or have been accused of doing so in the past continue to be admired, continue to be cherished, continue to earn accolades, and continue to earn obscene amounts of money- Roman Polanksi, Eminem, Chris Brown, Charlie Sheen, Bill Cosby, and most recently, Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao, the two contenders in a multi-million dollar boxing bout that was broadcast worldwide.
I could go on and on but can we as a society please stop worshipping these men who are regularly violent against women? Can we please realize that women’s experiences count? Before we go looking for answers, we need to look into ourselves and start asking the right questions.
May 8, 2015 at 3:05 am
well said maam ,,law is equal for everone .i think he should be put in jail for his whole of life as he not only killed someone but tried to manipulate the whole case ,that is a much bigger offence…ppl like him dont have the courage to face their karma…..i will like to hear your views on issues like detachment in relationship but still in love with the same person….i wish u all the best and keep writing from ur heart not ur mind!!!!!!
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May 9, 2015 at 10:56 am
True, and now he is not even going to prison! I don’t know what to say.
Hehe, writing on relationships is very personal but I will soon. Hope you’ll visit the blog regularly! 🙂
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May 8, 2015 at 3:27 am
Congratulations for starting your blog! You are very correct when you say that we people ideolize people who have serious fundamental issues, and that we should stop ideolizing them. But I think it is more to do with the system itself where if you can sell something worth that people will buy, it does not matter how fucked up you are, people will worship you. This is the result of extreme monetization of everything. We have managed not only to sell products but people, their body( sometimes against their will) for the sole purpose of making money, even if it is dehumanizing and destructive.
Keep it up!! You write well.
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May 9, 2015 at 10:54 am
Thanks Vivek! I completely agree with you. Salman wouldn’t have got the kind of support he did had he not been the star he is, and if he didn’t have so much money riding on him.
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May 9, 2015 at 2:23 am
Lovely read Shamu!
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May 9, 2015 at 10:52 am
Thank you Piyali Aunty! New post coming soon 🙂
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May 14, 2015 at 4:08 am
Very well and rightly said,,,,,
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May 14, 2015 at 5:44 am
The Indian constitution grants women equal rights to men, but strong patriarchal traditions persist in many different societal parts, with women’s lives shaped by customs that are centuries old. Hence, in these strata daughters are often regarded as a liability, and conditioned to believe that they are inferior and subordinate to men, whereas sons might be idolized and celebrated.
But why is that?
There are a couple of reasons, why men might be regarded an asset for a family:
*Considered capable of earning money
*Carry on the family line
*Able to provide for their aging parents
*Bring a wife (and with this a capable domestic helper) into the family
*Play an important role in death rituals in Hindu religion, which ensure, that the soul is released from the body and can go to heaven.
On the other hand, there are a couple of reasons why women might be regarded more of a liability for a family:
#Not considered capable of earning money
#Seen as economically and emotionally dependent on men
#While they help with domestic duties during childhood and adolescence, they go to live with their husband’s family after marriage, which means less help in the household of their originating family, and most importantly loss of money due to the dowry tradition.
This might explain why the birth of a daughter may not always be perceived as equally blissful as the birth of a son, and why “May you be blessed with a hundred sons” is a common Hindu wedding blessing.
Sustainable and long-term development is not possible without the participation and empowerment of women, only if they participate in the economic and societal development, the full potential of a society will be unfolded.
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